$REBATE

📖 gathers the troops So there we were in the Ardennes, freezing our asses off during the Battle of the Bulge, when one of those cocky sons of bitches in Bravo Company bet me I couldn't sneak into a Kraut camp and swipe their flag. Well, I wasn't about to let my honor go to hell, so I slipped past their guards, grabbed the flag, and mooned the whole lot of them on my way out for good measure. Damn near got my ass blown off, but I won a case of bourbon from Bravo, cackling like a mad hyena as I threw back shots in the trench. Remember, boys, when life puts you in a foxhole, hold on to your $REBATE like it's that bourbon—tight and fiercely, and never let go, 'cause it ain't worth shit if you're too dead to spend it.